Feedback and New Scene Outline

Feedback:

After pitching our idea we received various feedback to improve and fix a few elements to the opening sequences:

• The girl should be dead , in order to avoid the stereotype of a girl being drugged up. We decided that the girl will be the man’s dead sister, which he has dug up from a grave

• We have removed the teddy bear and the shots of the clock ticking.One of the points was to show more parts of her getting ready instead of just the face. E.g. nails painted, corset being tied.

• We were also told that the man should show more affection towards the girl. More care and love like a brother and sister relationship.

• Additionally, the needle of the record player should hit the end of run. 

New Scene Outline:

•       Sink, water coming out

•       Brushing teeth

•       Dribble it out

•       Hair in sink, mud washing out

•       Pan of dressing table 

•       Eyelashes being curled

•       Hair Dryer blowing hair

•       Eyeliner being put on 

•       Mascara being put on

•       Record player

•       Brushing dirt of nails

•       Brush hitting powder

•       Powder putting on girl

•       Lip stick being taken out

•       Lip stick being put on lips

•       Dress/corset being tightened

•       Brushing of hair

•       Needle of record hits the end

•       Nails being painting  

•       Curling hair

•       Mans hand record being turned off 

•       Picking up leather gloves

•       Cotton swab cleaning dirt of toe nails

•       Leather gloves being put on by man

•       Girls blue feet shown.

•       Man walks out

•       Black out.

The parts highlighted in gold are the addition and changes we have made to the original scene outline

Reflection of test shoot

Reflection on test shoot:

During our shoot and after editing, we discovered some changes we would like to make to the opening sequence.  Overall, I felt that our test shoot was a really gave the sense of a thriller, the shots we took conveyed a very tense and eerie vibe. The shots we filmed (e.g. lipstick being applied on lips) kept the audience on edge. Additionally, the ambiguous situation placed the audience in a threatened situation, thus amplifying the tension.

The pace of the opening sequence could be faster, we could cut between shots faster, and slightly extend some shot s in order to create a contrast and variety between shot lengths. The length of the test shoot was 1:45 minutes, therefore we could add more shots of make-up being applied and shots of the room to increase the length up to 2 minutes.

The idea we are trying to convey is clear to the audience to a certain extent. I feel that we should add more clues that she has been kidnapped. However the challenge, would be to give more information of her being kidnapped, however maintain the mystery and tension of ‘who is applying the make-up’. We could re-organise the shots in order to start giving very small clues mid-way through the clip, so by the end it the audience would understand that she is not applying her make-up.

I believe that tension was successfully created in our test-shoot. This was especially seen with the diegetic sound of the hair-brush pulling her hair and the toothbrush brushing her teeth. Small elements and details within the clip created a tense environment.

We would prefer to have more variety of camera angles to create a more interesting aspect to the footage. When filming our real thriller we would like to use a Macro-lens in order to get closer to the subject (girl) especially when filming details such as the eye-liner being applied and blush powder floating in the air. We need to include different camera angles and movement to give another dynamic to the clip rather than use many close-up shots focusing on the girl. This would also affect the pace e.g. close-ups tend to make the pace faster whilst long-shots generally slow down the pace.

We need to add more hints that she is not getting ready herself in order to create a more uncertain and mysterious element to the clip. It would also confuse the audience more which will keep them intrigued until they discover that she is being dressed up by the grown man.

I think generally there weren’t any major problems that we encountered whilst filming however there are many features that we could develop, for example: The sound of the brush pulling her hair. We could extract this sound and amplify and stretch the sound to make it more dramatic and emphasis the moment.

Overall, I feel that the test shoot has efficiently used the thriller conventions to create a suspenseful tone to the piece. We have all the elements to create the opening sequence; however we just need to develop some of the ideas and increase the length of the clip, in order to get an impactful, opening sequence.

These are photos of the filming process

 (photos provided by Natasha Hall):

Test Shoot Video

Footage of the Rehearsal Shoot:

We carried out a test shoot, for our thriller idea to give us an understanding of what our idea would look like on camera. We had to prepare all the props (make-up) and as well figure out the layout of the set. We planned, and understood the logistics of filming at extreme close-ups; and the lighting angles to use, because when the make-up was applied the shadow of the other actor covered the girl. It helped us to learn how to film the subject because the make-up being applied is a very awkward movement to capture when you are at very close proximity to the actor.  The test shoot also helped us in pitching our idea and giving people a visual understanding of our thriller. 

Below is the attached test shoot, that we filmed and edited.

 By Olly, Natasha, Naomi and Amr

Outline of Concept Idea and Pre-production plans

Dammia Thriller

It starts with a close-up shot of a girl brushing her teeth. It then cuts to the girls eyelashes being curled with an eye-lash curler. It then cuts to of a shot of a pill bottle which is spilled with pills on the table, this connotes she has been drugged . Then it cuts back to the girl putting on mascara, putting on blush and then lipstick. Then you see a man’s hand reach out and turn on the radio. All the make-up is put on very badly and messy. It cuts to a shot of the girl brushing her hair. Then the hand of a man turns the radio off. The audience then realizes that the girl was being dressed up by the man. There is a dolly out of the room. The man walks out, leaving the girl behind. 

(Dammia is Arabic for Doll)

Pre-production:

List of locations you need:

·       Bedroom (substitute school common room)

·       Later on we plan on constructing a bedroom in the studio.

Characters you need:

·       Girl aged 16-18 (used Naomi 16 years old)

·       Man aged 40+ (used Amr, 16 years old)

Is there a way around a difficult shoot:

·       We needed a bedroom, we used a common room instead. We used an old DVD player, but we wanted to use a record player.

What props do you need:

·       Hair brush

·       Tooth paste

·       Tooth brush

·       Mascara

·       Eyeliner

·       Lipstick

·       Eye Lash Curler

·       Blush

·       Make-up Brush

·       Eye-liner

·       Record Player

Minute Meetings (All)

18.11.15

• We each discussed and presented our ideas to everyone in the group.
• For the next lesson we need to think of everyone's ideas and make points on what we like about them

19.11.15

• We found our thriller idea, girl in room dressing up, however it reveals at the end to show a man dressing her up.
• Everyone in the group should have made a mood board of ideas about the thriller.
• We also had to keep in mind, a backup idea and what it would be.

20.11.15

• We found our backup idea- which is my first thriller idea (the racist serial killer)
• We discussed the age group of our two actors, girl (16-18 years old) and man aged 45+ years
• For Mondays shoot we allocated tasks to each person in the group: Olly will bring his camera and tripod/ Naomi will bring toothbrush and makeup/ Tash will plan the idea and I will direct the shoot and act as the older man.

23.11.15

• We filmed the sequence that we planned
• We used many extreme close-ups
• Reminder: Olly and Naomi, bring in laptops so we can edit

24.11.15

• We discussed pre-production and reflected on the shoot.
• Olly edited the thriller
• Everyone needs to do reflection and pre-production to put on blog.

30.11.15

• Finished making the PowerPoint presentation for thriller
• Olly needs to put paste the moon board on to the  PowerPoint

1.12.15

• Amr is drawing the storyboard
• Natasha need to finish editing the PowerPoint presentation

2.12.15

• Amr still drawing storyboard
• Writing up storyboard information: scene by scene

3.12.15

• Amr has finished the storyboard
• Olly needs to Photoshop storyboard together
• Rest of the group needs to finish writing notes and information for the storyboard

Our group discussing in one of our minute meetings

Feedback and Response on Thriller Ideas

                Thriller Idea No.1

Here is my feedback:

Response:

I would, try to expand the sequence by adding another element before or after. For example, her daily routine: brushing her teeth, drinking coffee; going to work. That could then lead to the scene where she is sitting on the sofa. Or I could add a section after showing the killer interacting with the victim. I need to add another element in the opening sequence to make it interesting and engaging. I would like to show the killer’s interaction with the victim, and perhaps use P.O.V or interesting camera angles to give a distorted and uncomfortable feel to the situation. From the classes feedback, I’ll try and explore the killer’s normal everyday side and her dark and evil side in order to create an interesting and original thriller sequence. In short, I need to add to my opening sequence idea in order for it to maintain a tense and interesting tone across the two minutes.

                Thriller Idea No.2

Here is my feedback:

Response:

I need to add more conventions of the thriller genre from the start in order to make it more clear that it is a thriller. I could do this with the use of non-diegetic sound such as an eerie soundtrack or using diegetic sounds e.g. kettle whistling, to create tension. In my original idea I tried to condense an entire film in to the two minutes; the opening was very detailed and showed their relationship becoming murderous; this doesn’t leave any more space for the film develop. Therefore, I should keep my opening sequence simpler and dilute the amount of information I give the audience. I should show the dysfunctionality of the couple as an element to the film rather than the central focus, It would make the narrative more interesting. I could alter the opening sequence, to show that they are a normal couple and the man is talking to his wife, not realising that she is dead the entire time. This would create tension and shock and would allow for the story to develop from there. After taking the feedback into consideration I could: simplify the opening sequence and add more thriller conventions to make the genre more evident.

                 Thriller Idea No.3

                Thriller Idea No.4

Genre, Sub-Genre and Hybrid Genre

Genre:

Is a category in which a film is allocated based on the films themes and convention.

E.g. Party/Jokes/Explicit Language/Upbeat, all these themes and conventions would place the film as most likely a comedy .

Sub-Genre:

Are dividing categories within a genre. It is a genre within a genre a subdivision.

E.g. Thriller ( genre)= Psychological Thriller (Sub-Genre).

Hybrid Genre:

Is a mix of two or more ‘main’ genre’s (e.g. Action/Comedy). These films combine different elements and conventions of the multiple genre’s to create a film combining all the different genre's. E.g. Horror + Sci-Fi = Alien. 

Conventions of a Thriller: Word Map

Conventions of a Thriller

Psychological Thriller

Is a sub-genre where the plot and protagonist explore mental conflicts. The protagonist is in a situation that affects their sanity. It usually involves an internal mental battle or the protagonist having to escape a situation caused my their mental distress. It’s usually ends with a violent ending.

 Supernatural Thriller

Is a sub-genre where mystical elements are a part of the plot, usually the protagonist has to battle an antagonistic force. Some characters may have supernatural abilities.

Crime Thriller

Is a sub-genre that focuses on crime and usually follows a detective or a criminals perspective. It tends to have a lot of physical action, it usually follows a criminal who eludes police whilst law enforcement tries to catch them.

Conspiracy Thriller

Is a sub-genre that focuses on a character that is on the pursuit to uncover a secret organisation or secret kept by governments. It’s usually a battle between the protagonists and a large powerful group of people, in order to expose something.

Legal Thriller

Is a sub-genre that centres around legal proceedings. Usually the protagonist is the lawyer or client, that find themselves in a situation where they are in danger. E.g. testifying in court against mob, the client becomes a target. 

Disaster Thriller

Is a sub-genre most likely a natural disaster that occurs and the protagonist is trying to stop or escape the disaster. These films are usually big budget movies.